Depression and motherhood

 Depression has been a part of me most of my life. Many people would not believe I am bi-polar because I can handle myself in the real world with-out too many meltdowns. I am usually private about those to the point only a few have ever seen them. I have been on many different medicines and have had therapy sessions, and have tried to change my diet over and over. I have tried hard over the years to not give up searching for the one thing that will let me live a normal life. But what is normal?
One wonderful thing that has kept me going for the past 13 years is motherhood. I may not be mother of the year because if any of you know me I don't keep the house perfect and I forget many special dates I am unorganized, spacey, and I need reminders about everything. But with all of that said, my kids are truly happy and are brilliant and strong spirited little people. Yes I let them play their games all the time and watch too much T.V. and I let them all play on the computer too much. I am very overprotective most of the time about who they play with and where they play. But all and all I am a easy-going mom.
I worry about mixing depression and motherhood because it can effect my kids in the future. But at least I know right now I am doing the best I can with what I am dealt. My kids and I love my manic stages because the house is clean and I do and say crazy things that make them laugh. Though my depression stages they know to just let me sleep and I will be better when I wake. Many people deal with depression more and more these days and it is not something that they should  hide. I am tired of hiding behind the doors and not revealing who I truly am. I am a mother who suffers from deep depression and I want everyone to know I am doing the best I can. Til next time, I am always a click away!
Amanda